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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6490
  • Number of comments : 355
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>manchesterUK</b> - 18 hours ago<b>invizibubble</b> - yesterday at 6:11am<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:16am<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 4:03pm<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:17am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>mydumblifesucks</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:01pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:43pm<b>bored359</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:14pm<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:49pm<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:16pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:47pm<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:15pm<b>thefmlstarfruit</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:17pm<b>nessalouise</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:53pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 1:33pm

Liked!<b>invizibubble</b> - 23 hours ago<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:09am<b>s_t_adam</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:56pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:41am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:24pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

#19421623
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9668) - you deserved it (44128)

On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (1973)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML

#19376505
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2624)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm - kids - by MDWilde (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (6763)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14415) - you deserved it (49995)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spat up blood and had horrible chest pain. My mom still made me go to school, claiming she needed to take the cat to the vet instead of me to the doctor. FML

#19234186
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (1963)

On 03/07/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Hungrytoothbrush (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43154) - you deserved it (2520)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15417) - you deserved it (27254)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (4058)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45588) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36847) - you deserved it (2700)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (2211)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (3589)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)



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