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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Unicorn City, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3687
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : Hmm, what should I say about myself? I'm blunt, I completely lack a filter, and I can be quite rude when offended, irritated, or just because. I'm also unbelievably gullible, I compose music on 3 different instruments, I read a book a day, my favorite official world is spiffy (favorite unofficial word(s)? It's a tie between beautimous and funsies), and I love to laugh. I have an aversion to stupidity, so if you're lacking in common sense, do me a favor and stay away from me (See? There's that no filter thing). But in all seriousness, I'm nice unless you give me a reason not to be, that being said...

If you send me a private message, I'll most likely answer it, but DO NOT try to hit on me through them. It does not endear you to me in any way, shape, or form. Actually, it completely creeps me out, so just don't do it.

R3TROxLOV3's last visitors

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R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38700) - you deserved it (2243)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12892) - you deserved it (23863)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43879) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30140) - you deserved it (1919)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (2088)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28939) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

#18880054
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (1404)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32206) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31836) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

#18620132
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31881) - you deserved it (1930)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Jessica - United States (California)



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