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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5407
  • Number of comments : 327
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>louisdenis805</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - 8 hours ago<b>okcnation</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Olivia93</b> - yesterday at 5:02am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - yesterday at 3:07am<b>Enslaved</b> - yesterday at 12:59am<b>msbitz</b> - yesterday at 12:19am<b>SamsPloblems</b> - yesterday at 10:56pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - yesterday at 9:41pm<b>jessica814590</b> - yesterday at 4:33pm<b>GuntherRocks</b> - yesterday at 2:22pm<b>rikkidi</b> - yesterday at 1:56pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - yesterday at 12:54pm<b>snorgia</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:38am<b>LG2024</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:40am<b>dpandit</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:39am<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:23am<b>vordhosbn</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:20pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13478) - you deserved it (48357)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (10989)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past month. The lady he has been seeing is a choreographer that was teaching him how to dance salsa for our wedding rehearsal. FML

#19509327
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (2148)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:20am - love - by Gennifer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (4393)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8161) - you deserved it (31412)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (5759)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

#19483512
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (2306)

On 04/17/2012 at 10:54am - love - by unloved (woman) - United States

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47173) - you deserved it (5188)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37673) - you deserved it (2739)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (6130)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6867) - you deserved it (46875)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13722) - you deserved it (40432)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86072) - you deserved it (4244)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

#19421623
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (44022)

On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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