About R3TROxLOV3 : What to say... :O
*I’m 18
*I’m a girl
*I devour books. Not literally Devour them, but devour them as in I read an average of 8 per a week
*I'm usually quite friendly, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, I can turn into a bitch from hell.
*I play 3 instruments (piano-1o years, viola- 8years, guitar- 2 years) and sing
*I laugh, A Lot
*Most people either like me, or hate me. Frankly, I don't care either way, because I'm not here to make you happy.
*I lack a filter, meaning i say things without fully processing what I'm about to say, and whether or not It's an appropriate thing to say in public. I will undoubtedly offend someone almost every time I comment, but usually not on purpose.
*I don't like it when guys on FML send me messages with pick-up lines. Seriously. I get them frequently and it's quite irritating. So stop it. I don't find it endearing, it just makes me homicidal.
… The End :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50824) - you deserved it (3256)
On 10/08/2011 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (4029)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (8373)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (2570)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20957) - you deserved it (5505)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (1874)
On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23198) - you deserved it (3454)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (285)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28912) - you deserved it (3191)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34145) - you deserved it (8526)
On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (1960)
On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (31857)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (3321)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (6244)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm - misc - by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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