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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Unicorn City, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3684
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : Hmm, what should I say about myself? I'm blunt, I completely lack a filter, and I can be quite rude when offended, irritated, or just because. I'm also unbelievably gullible, I compose music on 3 different instruments, I read a book a day, my favorite official world is spiffy (favorite unofficial word(s)? It's a tie between beautimous and funsies), and I love to laugh. I have an aversion to stupidity, so if you're lacking in common sense, do me a favor and stay away from me (See? There's that no filter thing). But in all seriousness, I'm nice unless you give me a reason not to be, that being said...

If you send me a private message, I'll most likely answer it, but DO NOT try to hit on me through them. It does not endear you to me in any way, shape, or form. Actually, it completely creeps me out, so just don't do it.

R3TROxLOV3's last visitors

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R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

#19483512
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28718) - you deserved it (2226)

On 04/17/2012 at 10:54am - love - by unloved (woman) - United States

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (4944)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30038) - you deserved it (1826)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20874) - you deserved it (4744)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6270) - you deserved it (44663)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10966) - you deserved it (35536)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82655) - you deserved it (4001)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

#19421623
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8461) - you deserved it (40255)

On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (1832)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML

#19376505
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (2499)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm - kids - by MDWilde (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (3029)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13665) - you deserved it (48303)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spat up blood and had horrible chest pain. My mom still made me go to school, claiming she needed to take the cat to the vet instead of me to the doctor. FML

#19234186
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (1793)

On 03/07/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Hungrytoothbrush (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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