About R3TROxLOV3 : What to say... :O
*I’m 18
*I’m a girl
*I devour books. Not literally Devour them, but devour them as in I read an average of 8 per a week
*I'm usually quite friendly, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, I can turn into a bitch from hell.
*I play 3 instruments (piano-1o years, viola- 8years, guitar- 2 years) and sing
*I laugh, A Lot
*Most people either like me, or hate me. Frankly, I don't care either way, because I'm not here to make you happy.
*I lack a filter, meaning i say things without fully processing what I'm about to say, and whether or not It's an appropriate thing to say in public. I will undoubtedly offend someone almost every time I comment, but usually not on purpose.
*I don't like it when guys on FML send me messages with pick-up lines. Seriously. I get them frequently and it's quite irritating. So stop it. I don't find it endearing, it just makes me homicidal.
… The End :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (4533)
On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes "betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (2233)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15809) - you deserved it (1866)
On 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm - misc - by Meowingtons500 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (1944)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (3984)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34475) - you deserved it (5460)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24243) - you deserved it (16865)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (2499)
On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48244) - you deserved it (3455)
On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (4372)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by peonypiney (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (10780)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15532) - you deserved it (1629)
On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6310) - you deserved it (128967)
On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (3809)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (2553)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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