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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5991
  • Number of comments : 347
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>mystery_user</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 12 hours ago<b>RedMarie</b> - 12 hours ago<b>piggybits</b> - 17 hours ago<b>thereal_BA</b> - 21 hours ago<b>raphanne</b> - 23 hours ago<b>horneyhic</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Crazynocatlady</b> - 24 hours ago<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - yesterday at 7:38am<b>fmlgiraffe</b> - yesterday at 7:27am<b>Iwtumn</b> - yesterday at 3:26am<b>Spetz14</b> - yesterday at 3:04am<b>jaydoug92</b> - yesterday at 1:38am<b>FatedB</b> - yesterday at 12:54am<b>atav</b> - yesterday at 12:25am<b>KMoBear</b> - yesterday at 11:53pm<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - yesterday at 11:47pm<b>Blodwast</b> - yesterday at 11:46pm

Liked!<b>eaglerob</b> - yesterday at 4:41am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:24pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (5961)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (2146)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (2113)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (4001)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34612) - you deserved it (5783)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (2279)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

#19581290
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37074) - you deserved it (3701)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

#19577163
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30887) - you deserved it (3943)

On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML

#19546039
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (2712)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anne - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (7766)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

#19527572
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24194) - you deserved it (1959)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (2667)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (2667)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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