Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

R3TROxLOV3

Offline (yesterday at 5:17am) | Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3

24Fucked!

R3TROxLOV3R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 December 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11537
  • Number of comments : 410
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I basically have an alarming level of disdain directed towards all of you. Because of this disdain, I feel that roughly 99% of you aren't worth talking to. As such, refrain from messaging me, because I won't answer.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>Alexis2742</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:48am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 7:18pm<b>C0bblepot</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:34pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:19pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:41pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:28pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:43pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:22am<b>gabechriswill</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:16am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:37pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:42am<b>Robert3242009</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:22pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:55am<b>sam144</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 12:38am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:21pm<b>tjw1616</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:06pm

Fucked!<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:22pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:06pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:04am<b>puckyou</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:02am<b>patte</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:38am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:08am<b>coppersmith</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Estrangement</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:18am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:17am<b>zjay</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:35am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:24pm<b>teazyfisher</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:09am<b>bionicslash</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:13pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:40am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:31pm<b>corporatescoundr</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107607) - you deserved it (12697)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69235) - you deserved it (5973)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72119) - you deserved it (4654)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51423) - you deserved it (9816)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80845) - you deserved it (18342)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81553) - you deserved it (5083)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61950) - you deserved it (3419)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54207) - you deserved it (5200)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45458) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73698) - you deserved it (6545)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66188) - you deserved it (5712)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (7485)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: