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R3TROxLOV3

Offline (the 07/09/2014 at 1:19am) | Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5065
  • Number of comments : 312
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>lindsay42711</b> - 4 hours ago<b>vividpictures</b> - 4 hours ago<b>BearTheCrown</b> - 14 hours ago<b>euphoricness</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Ian7890</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:38am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:50am<b>pwnapple99</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:02am<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:58am<b>agirlnamedLola</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Antonhjn</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:41pm<b>hopsinlove17</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:55pm<b>jgriff79</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:30am<b>melons</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:48am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 8:56pm<b>kaitlyntonner</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:00pm<b>tj_307</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:40am<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:33pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:44pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74790) - you deserved it (17006)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75675) - you deserved it (4682)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57596) - you deserved it (3094)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50405) - you deserved it (4873)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42000) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68668) - you deserved it (6134)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61721) - you deserved it (5415)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29425) - you deserved it (6904)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (9357)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44191) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28393) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML

#20194701
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (2450)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11119) - you deserved it (27101)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada



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