Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

R3TROxLOV3

Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Unicorn City, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3659
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : Hmm, what should I say about myself? I'm blunt, I completely lack a filter, and I can be quite rude when offended, irritated, or just because. I'm also unbelievably gullible, I compose music on 3 different instruments, I read a book a day, my favorite official world is spiffy (favorite unofficial word(s)? It's a tie between beautimous and funsies), and I love to laugh. I have an aversion to stupidity, so if you're lacking in common sense, do me a favor and stay away from me (See? There's that no filter thing). But in all seriousness, I'm nice unless you give me a reason not to be, that being said...

If you send me a private message, I'll most likely answer it, but DO NOT try to hit on me through them. It does not endear you to me in any way, shape, or form. Actually, it completely creeps me out, so just don't do it.

R3TROxLOV3's last visitors

Dougie_Beebabygurll19Heebs62dk1991Wolverine33incoherentrmblrmydumblifesucksJessica0928I_Am_Lamp_Earrings100michaelf461

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

#13274150
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (2965)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by DepressedKid - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

#13274150
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (2965)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by DepressedKid - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (26799)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad squirted water at me. Fortunately, I blocked it. Unfortunately, I blocked it with my new $200 camera. FML

#12992110
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15938) - you deserved it (19598)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by coolcucumber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

#12916563
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29084) - you deserved it (4266)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:49am - misc - by wakinginvegas87 - United States (California)

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

#12474079
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40754) - you deserved it (3104)

On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9124) - you deserved it (119485)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69781) - you deserved it (3994)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8813) - you deserved it (54695)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

#12187023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (3119)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
492 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13313) - you deserved it (224820)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (7089)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

#8973652
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4274) - you deserved it (52042)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: