About R3TROxLOV3 : What to say... :O
*I’m 18
*I’m a girl
*I devour books. Not literally Devour them, but devour them as in I read an average of 8 per a week
*I'm usually quite friendly, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, I can turn into a bitch from hell.
*I play 3 instruments (piano-1o years, viola- 8years, guitar- 2 years) and sing
*I laugh, A Lot
*Most people either like me, or hate me. Frankly, I don't care either way, because I'm not here to make you happy.
*I lack a filter, meaning i say things without fully processing what I'm about to say, and whether or not It's an appropriate thing to say in public. I will undoubtedly offend someone almost every time I comment, but usually not on purpose.
*I don't like it when guys on FML send me messages with pick-up lines. Seriously. I get them frequently and it's quite irritating. So stop it. I don't find it endearing, it just makes me homicidal.
… The End :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79242) - you deserved it (6703)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56360) - you deserved it (33011)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (167037) - you deserved it (6651)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13989) - you deserved it (44925)
On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64907) - you deserved it (5592)
On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (59428)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9475) - you deserved it (133066)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64029) - you deserved it (4178)
On 04/04/2009 at 5:19am - animals - by cheaphubbyswife - Canada (Northwest Territories)
Today, my mom and sister both told me that they don't like when I come visit with my boyfriend. They love my boyfriend and think he's great, it's me they have a problem with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52650) - you deserved it (3346)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by littleone37 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14620) - you deserved it (84910)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11981) - you deserved it (142402)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52861) - you deserved it (19873)
On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69197) - you deserved it (6936)
On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96460) - you deserved it (6000)
On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60524) - you deserved it (5733)
On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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