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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6387
  • Number of comments : 354
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>nikmiester</b> - 7 hours ago<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>mydumblifesucks</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:01pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:43pm<b>bored359</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:14pm<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:49pm<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:16pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:47pm<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:15pm<b>thefmlstarfruit</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:17pm<b>nessalouise</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:53pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 1:33pm<b>candiicane</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:29am<b>feeltheluck</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:47pm<b>TPH1979</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:48pm<b>aruam365</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:05pm

Liked!<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:09am<b>s_t_adam</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:56pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:41am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:24pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11495) - you deserved it (48378)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (32863)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML

#15649522
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11431) - you deserved it (30866)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by RedFace (woman) - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72552) - you deserved it (5881)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33447) - you deserved it (45112)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting a girl I like. Every message she sent came ten minutes after I sent her a message. When I told her "I've to go", she responded almost instantly with an "Ok, bye". FML

#15282818
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31678) - you deserved it (9016)

On 03/12/2011 at 9:43am - love - by AuraOfJustice - United States

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

#15166184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33503) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

#15113643
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43726) - you deserved it (4212)

On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

#15025975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (3840)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45273) - you deserved it (13040)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML

#14751660
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (4694)

On 01/29/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (104476)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (2660)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

#14515582
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (6933)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29726) - you deserved it (12346)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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