About R3TROxLOV3 : What to say... :O
*I’m 18
*I’m a girl
*I devour books. Not literally Devour them, but devour them as in I read an average of 8 per a week
*I'm usually quite friendly, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, I can turn into a bitch from hell.
*I play 3 instruments (piano-1o years, viola- 8years, guitar- 2 years) and sing
*I laugh, A Lot
*Most people either like me, or hate me. Frankly, I don't care either way, because I'm not here to make you happy.
*I lack a filter, meaning i say things without fully processing what I'm about to say, and whether or not It's an appropriate thing to say in public. I will undoubtedly offend someone almost every time I comment, but usually not on purpose.
*I don't like it when guys on FML send me messages with pick-up lines. Seriously. I get them frequently and it's quite irritating. So stop it. I don't find it endearing, it just makes me homicidal.
… The End :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28643) - you deserved it (1453)
On 10/11/2009 at 6:54am - love - by noo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (6921)
On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12330) - you deserved it (202481)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (3080)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (11468)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30032) - you deserved it (2780)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States
Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43444) - you deserved it (2739)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98198) - you deserved it (23539)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54376) - you deserved it (9450)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50831) - you deserved it (1026)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was using a cream to remove the hair from my legs. After I was done, I went on the computer, and a few minutes later I noticed that the same hand I had the cream on was leaning on the side of my head. Now I have a huge bald spot and a party to go to later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10370) - you deserved it (32022)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Akasunanokai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (8181)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11043) - you deserved it (50289)
On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8206) - you deserved it (78366)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45357) - you deserved it (3785)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - work - by Fibericon (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Monday 17 June 2013
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