About R3TROxLOV3 : What to say... :O
*I’m 18
*I’m a girl
*I devour books. Not literally Devour them, but devour them as in I read an average of 8 per a week
*I'm usually quite friendly, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, I can turn into a bitch from hell.
*I play 3 instruments (piano-1o years, viola- 8years, guitar- 2 years) and sing
*I laugh, A Lot
*Most people either like me, or hate me. Frankly, I don't care either way, because I'm not here to make you happy.
*I lack a filter, meaning i say things without fully processing what I'm about to say, and whether or not It's an appropriate thing to say in public. I will undoubtedly offend someone almost every time I comment, but usually not on purpose.
*I don't like it when guys on FML send me messages with pick-up lines. Seriously. I get them frequently and it's quite irritating. So stop it. I don't find it endearing, it just makes me homicidal.
… The End :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21955) - you deserved it (1291)
On 06/11/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by fordneagles (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (4938)
On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (1515)
On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)
Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (2658)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24511) - you deserved it (2861)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22310) - you deserved it (1891)
On 04/29/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anne - United States
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19611) - you deserved it (5808)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18506) - you deserved it (1292)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16904) - you deserved it (1817)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16904) - you deserved it (1817)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (12574)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (34459)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (7969)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past month. The lady he has been seeing is a choreographer that was teaching him how to dance salsa for our wedding rehearsal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24641) - you deserved it (1809)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:20am - love - by Gennifer - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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