About R3TROxLOV3 : I basically have an alarming level of disdain directed towards all of you. Because of this disdain, I feel that roughly 99% of you aren't worth talking to. As such, refrain from messaging me, because I won't answer.
R3TROxLOV3's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML
by marryinghimanyway / 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by still together / 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML
by nowork / 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML
by Suunflower_14 / 08/26/2013 at 5:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML
by Kingofbosses / 08/22/2013 at 1:31am / United States / Work
by nearly a crazy lady / 08/12/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom / Work
by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML
by Gross / 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous