Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

R3TROxLOV3

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3

24Fucked!

R3TROxLOV3R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 December 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11560
  • Number of comments : 410
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I basically have an alarming level of disdain directed towards all of you. Because of this disdain, I feel that roughly 99% of you aren't worth talking to. As such, refrain from messaging me, because I won't answer.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>arealsexybitch</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Alexis2742</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:48am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 7:18pm<b>C0bblepot</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:34pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:19pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:41pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:28pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:43pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:22am<b>gabechriswill</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:16am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:37pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:42am<b>Robert3242009</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:22pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:55am<b>sam144</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 12:38am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:21pm

Fucked!<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:22pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:06pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:04am<b>puckyou</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:02am<b>patte</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:38am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:08am<b>coppersmith</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Estrangement</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:18am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:17am<b>zjay</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:35am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:24pm<b>teazyfisher</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:09am<b>bionicslash</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:13pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:40am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:31pm<b>corporatescoundr</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML

#21516953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (1337)

On 01/19/2016 at 12:03pm - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51305) - you deserved it (4032)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (58194)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50954) - you deserved it (4353)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54101) - you deserved it (7038)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47981) - you deserved it (4405)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42401) - you deserved it (4344)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48849) - you deserved it (5554)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
534 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (141812)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47981) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46653) - you deserved it (7827)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (3926)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47582) - you deserved it (3125)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: