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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6975
  • Number of comments : 356
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>andy594328</b> - 2 hours ago<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Jpav1</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:36am<b>corporatescoundr</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:13am<b>AGB10</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 1:02am<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:31am<b>COURT_KING</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:05pm<b>Alexis2742</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:10am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 8:57pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:50pm<b>invizibubble</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:11am<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:16am<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 4:03pm<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:17am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>mydumblifesucks</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:01pm<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:18pm

Liked!<b>corporatescoundr</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am<b>invizibubble</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:11am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:09am<b>s_t_adam</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:56pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:41am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:24pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48498) - you deserved it (3823)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (52529)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47097) - you deserved it (4012)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (6446)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44651) - you deserved it (4086)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (3946)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (5138)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17877) - you deserved it (128924)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44840) - you deserved it (3152)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43076) - you deserved it (7342)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44552) - you deserved it (3677)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48814) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55932) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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