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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Purplehays

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Purplehays
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 40
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Purplehays's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (9590) - you deserved it (1139)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (6744) - you deserved it (548)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (8571) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (11234) - you deserved it (1342) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (14154) - you deserved it (983)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (767)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (3596) - you deserved it (12060)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (42372) - you deserved it (3788) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

#18409313 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (14053) - you deserved it (817)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (7899) - you deserved it (978)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (33277) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (2620) - you deserved it (15930)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (7423) - you deserved it (1333)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (8705) - you deserved it (2446)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

#18368736 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (5176) - you deserved it (24989)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)