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Polkadot_492

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 6:47pm) | Search for a member

Polkadot_492

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1004
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Polkadot_492 : I love making friends

Polkadot_492's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:46am<b>crisanba</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 12:16pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:07am<b>1x1x1x1</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:41pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 4:50pm<b>michelledoogles</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 1:43am<b>oj101</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 5:27am

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Polkadot_492's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46597) - you deserved it (5133)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

#20971273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37390) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41852) - you deserved it (5198)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (12808)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66958) - you deserved it (5565)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55099) - you deserved it (5818)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51376) - you deserved it (7135)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (28962)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41118) - you deserved it (6887)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56760) - you deserved it (36438)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66808) - you deserved it (4064)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48758) - you deserved it (6373)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (45636)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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