Polkadot_492

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Offline (the 10/05/2015 at 2:50am)

Polkadot_492

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2667
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Polkadot_492 : I love making friends

Polkadot_492's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:46am<b>crisanba</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 12:16pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:07am<b>1x1x1x1</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:41pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 4:50pm<b>michelledoogles</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 1:43am<b>oj101</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 5:27am

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Polkadot_492's favorite FMLs

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

by come on man / 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

by bye loser / 10/20/2014 at 5:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

by Bad Dad / 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

by fizzie101 / 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

by KayyElOh94 / 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

by Etrius / 08/17/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

by Sara777boo / 08/16/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

by thoughthewasjoking / 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Money