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Polkadot_492

Offline (the 02/07/2015 at 8:42pm) | Search for a member

Polkadot_492

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1948
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Polkadot_492 : I love making friends

Polkadot_492's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:46am<b>crisanba</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 12:16pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:07am<b>1x1x1x1</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:41pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 4:50pm<b>michelledoogles</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 1:43am<b>oj101</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 5:27am

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Polkadot_492's favorite FMLs

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (7321)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

#21308108
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (6912)

On 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by come on man (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41095) - you deserved it (5295)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (11332)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (3744)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (4621)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (4424)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (3583)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49352) - you deserved it (5588)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49338) - you deserved it (6196)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46981) - you deserved it (10307) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (6863)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (37514)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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