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Polkadot_492

Offline (the 02/07/2015 at 8:42pm) | Search for a member

Polkadot_492

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1486
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Polkadot_492 : I love making friends

Polkadot_492's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:46am<b>crisanba</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 12:16pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:07am<b>1x1x1x1</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:41pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 4:50pm<b>michelledoogles</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 1:43am<b>oj101</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 5:27am

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Polkadot_492's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34491) - you deserved it (5126)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

#21332358
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34921) - you deserved it (6501)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39232) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (6811)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39016) - you deserved it (3614)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21217) - you deserved it (33965)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (6145)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (11830)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (18264)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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