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Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (2392)
On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17328) - you deserved it (4361)
On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a naked man for the first time in my life. It was the nude model in my art class. I was forced to draw wrinkles and fat rolls in places I didn't even know existed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (3489)
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (2689)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19866) - you deserved it (7194)
On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (3040)
On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (12705)
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (6956)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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