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Phr0zen's favorite FMLs
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by music man / 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
by vw / 02/20/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:13pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
by Poorman / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
by toothpastecat / 05/13/2011 at 11:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
by Kristin / 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 11/06/2010 at 1:18am / France / Kids
by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
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