Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PandaSmile

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

PandaSmile

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6146
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About PandaSmile : PS3: PandaSmilexD

3DS: 4957-2820-6096

I also have a vast collection of plaid shirts and swatch watches, which is fun.

PandaSmile's page activity

Visits<b>Lhiah</b> - yesterday at 12:07am<b>peaceablerook</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:48pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:15pm<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:38pm<b>mikewoot99</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:59am<b>sean0930</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:39pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:38pm<b>tkdman19</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:41pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:38pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:38pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:27pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:26am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:54am<b>JMichael</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:38pm<b>popprock</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:40pm<b>TylerHolloway</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:31pm

PandaSmile's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of PandaSmile's badges

PandaSmile's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76006) - you deserved it (7228)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (65214)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12980) - you deserved it (62828)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said "Look who finally decided to come to work." His response: "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML

#283908
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6025) - you deserved it (20939)

On 03/12/2009 at 2:57pm - work - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up by the sound of power tools at 6:30am. I stuck my head out my window and yelled at them to shut up. They didn't stop. I walked out the front door to find the bastard. It was firemen. They were sawing down the door of my neighbour's burning house. FML

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52350) - you deserved it (98149)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (61095)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

#218369
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19572) - you deserved it (58436)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (41587)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46170) - you deserved it (4893)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

#186916
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37164) - you deserved it (8597)

On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

#172580
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53875) - you deserved it (15432)

On 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by Ashley J. (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21557) - you deserved it (61478)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: