Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PandaSmile

Online | Search for a member

PandaSmile

297Fucked!

PandaSmilePandaSmile
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 February 1993 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12437
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About PandaSmile : 🍷🍫⛵️

PandaSmile's page activity

Visits<b>Helipilot86</b> - 11 hours ago<b>pineapplejuicy</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:59am<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:31pm<b>igg125</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:13pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:31pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:16pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:26pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:20pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:54am<b>kawayi</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:25am<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:15pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:14am<b>krazy789</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:45pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:08am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:42pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 3:48pm<b>davila59</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:48am<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 9:12am

Fucked!<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:15am<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:48pm<b>ekimen</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 1:50am<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:03pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:20am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:38am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:39am<b>AscendV</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:46am<b>schreibergx93</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:18pm<b>SpeedRacer20</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:08am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:53pm<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:56pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 8:52pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 9:51am<b>SteveLo420</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:14am<b>apcsox</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:05pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 3:54pm

PandaSmile's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of PandaSmile's badges

PandaSmile's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (2665)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (2671)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you deserved it (27899)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11437) - you deserved it (56772)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33977) - you deserved it (5012)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (3014)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (2984)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (2585)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (1764)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35160) - you deserved it (19724)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (4428)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (7574)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (3807)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: