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PaigeLeeAnn11's favorite FMLs
by sick of this shit / 03/12/2016 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML
by Why Me / 08/12/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 5:08am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous
Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/23/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Love
by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health
by boo / 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by how about never? / 10/19/2014 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Kids
by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried… 3Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After…
- Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about… Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why?… Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on…