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Orchard

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Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5849
  • Number of comments : 193
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:02pm<b>countrygirl71</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:48am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:04pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:03am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:46am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:24pm<b>solonglonesome</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:16pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:31am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:43am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:32pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:13pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Weemandarin</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 8:14pm<b>Black_Rose_14</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:31am<b>amberv61</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 3:35pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:11pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:23am<b>Saava</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 4:08pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14952) - you deserved it (45280)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost passed out choking in front of my friends, because I was laughing too hard at my own pathetic joke while eating. FML

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (3027)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (3408)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

#21222298
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (5767)

On 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm - love - by notgoth (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (2758)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (4358)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20153) - you deserved it (47198)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (12651)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46816) - you deserved it (3486)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44847) - you deserved it (6152)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (13488)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42809) - you deserved it (7894)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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