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Orchard

Offline (the 01/31/2016 at 10:37pm) | Search for a member

Orchard

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 23899
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:51pm<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:51pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:54am<b>airassault</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:27pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:39am<b>hobbs96</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:37am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 8:22am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:05pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:41am<b>talas122104</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:17am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 8:50am<b>player20270</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 9:40am<b>Steve97</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 5:32pm<b>RichieRichhh</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:28pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:52am<b>heyitscoley</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Indecisionx</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 4:26am

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:51am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

Orchard's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Orchard's badges

Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (1500)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML

#21520184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (2629)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

#21519974
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20335) - you deserved it (1973)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:02am - health - by oliver (man) - United States

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

#21517961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (2022)

On 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

#21518068
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (2006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2016 at 7:11pm - love - by Kimel - France (Franche-Comte)

Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

#21517211
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (1328)

On 01/20/2016 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20052) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (12933)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

#21514651
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (1674)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:06am - work - by midnightblade163 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

#21514487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (1495)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm - misc - by Mellamononeyobiz (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

 Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

#21513970
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm - misc - by JoseIsAdork (man) - United States (New York)

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

#21512099
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (1233)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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