OMGsometoast

Search for a member

Offline (the 02/03/2016 at 10:20pm)

OMGsometoast

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1870
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

OMGsometoast's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of OMGsometoast's badges

OMGsometoast's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

by Sniffles / 04/26/2014 at 8:28am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

by wah wah "you raised him" / 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

by mookiemookie01 / 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm / Miscellaneous