Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nutz321

Search for a member

Nutz321

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7452
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nutz321 : Favourite commenters

DocBastard
Marvin_Android
redbluegreen
perdix

Nutz321's page activity

Visits<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:41pm<b>crabby1999</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:35pm<b>Zebidee</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 12:02pm<b>cali_gurl209</b> - the 10/26/2010 at 2:04pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/22/2010 at 3:23pm

Nutz321's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nutz321's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (3673)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

#14793014
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (3606)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by LynzG -

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

#14792187
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (3064)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

#14791942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24164) - you deserved it (6468)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47665) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

#14789249
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (4325)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML

#14788536
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (6725)

On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

#14784737
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (4180)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by mentallyscarred - United States (California)

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

#14784693
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (2419)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by freckleboy422 - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

#14775233
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (3594)

On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, my friend installed this new application that shows you what a girl would look like as a boy and what a boy would look like as a girl. Well I'm a girl and when it was my turn it didn't change. FML

#14772797
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (4534)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by boylookingirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41358) - you deserved it (2730)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (54557)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (54557)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: