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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (7047)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35399) - you deserved it (4356)
On 07/28/2009 at 12:47am - health - by crazymirrors (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13941) - you deserved it (32226)
On 07/25/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by PeterRabit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42064) - you deserved it (4518)
On 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm - love - by tubedout (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (3637)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by dwellswithin (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (77927)
On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to see a movie. He said he was busy that day, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me is making out and kicking my seat. I turn around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (2076)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by frankfukhergood - Canada
Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6761) - you deserved it (54331)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)
Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59810) - you deserved it (1879)
On 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by daRN (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)
Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (4573)
On 07/01/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Jake (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21951) - you deserved it (34275)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44141) - you deserved it (2493)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6220) - you deserved it (87390)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (4255)
On 06/25/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (39201)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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