Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nutz321

Search for a member

Nutz321

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7175
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nutz321 : Favourite commenters

DocBastard
Marvin_Android
redbluegreen
perdix

Nutz321's page activity

Visits<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:41pm<b>crabby1999</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:35pm<b>Zebidee</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 12:02pm<b>cali_gurl209</b> - the 10/26/2010 at 2:04pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/22/2010 at 3:23pm

Nutz321's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nutz321's favorite FMLs

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

#14811207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35663) - you deserved it (4370)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

#14811207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35663) - you deserved it (4370)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

#14809885
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:44am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML

#14809738
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43284) - you deserved it (7935)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (4230)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18657) - you deserved it (64802)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

#14802343
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23831) - you deserved it (2417)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML

#14798107
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41974) - you deserved it (4196)

On 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by peachmelba (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (62058)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (62058)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17753) - you deserved it (37701)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36313) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

#14794678
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:05am - intimacy - by LonelyBoy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wrote a 2000 word essay on "Las Vegas - The City That Never Sleeps". I was proud of my work, until someone pointed out that New York is "The City That Never Sleeps", not Vegas. FML

#14793954
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9426) - you deserved it (37890)

On 02/01/2011 at 5:35am - work - by mmaisie (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: