Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nutz321

Search for a member

Nutz321

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Nutz321 : Favourite commenters

DocBastard
Marvin_Android
redbluegreen
perdix

Nutz321's page activity

Visits<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:41pm<b>crabby1999</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:35pm<b>Zebidee</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 12:02pm<b>cali_gurl209</b> - the 10/26/2010 at 2:04pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/22/2010 at 3:23pm

Nutz321's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nutz321's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

#14895043
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (13652)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

#14893456
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43385) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:48am - health - by soccerscout7 -

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35683) - you deserved it (3178)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML

#14886336
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39797) - you deserved it (7220)

On 02/07/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by um -

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

#14882108
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (3285)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

#14881975
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51538) - you deserved it (7118)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

#14867901
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35346) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

#14862794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9071) - you deserved it (26772)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML

#14861457
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (7081)

On 02/06/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by xxxchelsiexxx - United States

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

#14857654
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (10890)

On 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by UghCats (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

#14853922
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37067) - you deserved it (2570)

On 02/05/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by stinkerweeder (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

#14851350
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (4917)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:13am - health - by Screwed in Seattle - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: