Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NothernNightmare

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 8:17am) | Search for a member

NothernNightmare

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2616
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About NothernNightmare : shhhh, can you hear that? that's the sound of me not caring.

NothernNightmare's page activity

Visits<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:04am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:12pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:39pm<b>zandalee</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:55pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:43am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:38pm<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:30pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:49pm<b>poppypoptarts</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:05pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:55am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 6:08am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:24am<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:38am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:38am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:34pm

NothernNightmare's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of NothernNightmare's badges

NothernNightmare's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11555) - you deserved it (32863)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21031) - you deserved it (2315)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (5662)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28270) - you deserved it (1786)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8017) - you deserved it (29951)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's parents took pictures of my tattoos to make sure I'm "not affiliated with any gangs." I have never even been arrested. FML

#20005337
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (3589)

On 08/06/2012 at 4:13am - love - by awkwardparents - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

#20005230
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/06/2012 at 2:37am - love - by shastadoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

#20005160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (2066)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by mississippi123 - United States (California)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (5844)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (2952)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (1593)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (6370)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

#20001682
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (19121)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: