Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NothernNightmare

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

NothernNightmare

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2303
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About NothernNightmare : shhhh, can you hear that? that's the sound of me not caring.

NothernNightmare's page activity

Visits<b>Kyle1dc</b> - yesterday at 3:12pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:39pm<b>zandalee</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:55pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:43am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:38pm<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:30pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:49pm<b>poppypoptarts</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:05pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:55am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 6:08am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:24am<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:38am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:38am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:34pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 7:18pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 12:59pm

NothernNightmare's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of NothernNightmare's badges

NothernNightmare's favorite FMLs

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9370) - you deserved it (33335)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (12369)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (4454)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (2035)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

#19971853
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (7349)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by whymegirl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23272) - you deserved it (3107)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10688) - you deserved it (36778)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (2503)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6120) - you deserved it (70488)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (3270)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (7316)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (3267)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (8590)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11160) - you deserved it (38852)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (25179)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: