NothernNightmare

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Offline (the 03/16/2015 at 11:16pm)

NothernNightmare

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6125
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About NothernNightmare : shhhh, can you hear that? that's the sound of me not caring.

NothernNightmare's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 6:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:16pm<b>xxhdxx</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Therid</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:45pm<b>RoseBlack123</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:34pm<b>NicholasLanier</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:45am<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:04am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:12pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:39pm<b>zandalee</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:55pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Setareh23</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:43am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:38pm<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:30pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:18pm

NothernNightmare's FML badges

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NothernNightmare's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

by anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

by booo / 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

by booo / 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

by Just Me / 07/26/2012 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Infiltrator4444 / 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

by Arthurie / 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

by whymegirl / 07/22/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

by Taylor / 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love