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Nosah's FML badges
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Nosah's favorite FMLs
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by hahanosirr / 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
by Mel / 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by cnamobi / 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML
by HM / 04/06/2011 at 1:28pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML
by retard99 / 03/21/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 2:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by hisgirl4life / 02/05/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom,… Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him… Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses.…