About NoWayLady : I read FML when I'm blue, red and in between, which would make me purple if you think about it.
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NoWayLady's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
by StudMuffinette / 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by lizownsvirgy / 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
by stepmom / 06/18/2011 at 5:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by hatelife / 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
by henry feingold / 06/10/2011 at 12:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health
by Whatdididowrong? / 05/10/2011 at 1:18am / Kids
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…