About NoWayLady : I read FML when I'm blue, red and in between, which would make me purple if you think about it.
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Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13781) - you deserved it (163231)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (4851)
On 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jag talar (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30685) - you deserved it (2349)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (4129)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20785) - you deserved it (4363)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42316) - you deserved it (3376)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2245)
On 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm - work - by StudMuffinette (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (2701)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (4862)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54154) - you deserved it (3793)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14784) - you deserved it (69245)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (4230)
On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (3377)
On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47675) - you deserved it (3593)
On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (5519)
On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
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