Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NoWayLady

Search for a member

NoWayLady
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Tyria
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1555
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About NoWayLady : I read FML when I'm blue, red and in between, which would make me purple if you think about it.

NoWayLady's last visitors

mario2012Black_Knight80Budderchookandy594328NarttuTrollxWelshitenhbasskid13

NoWayLady's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of NoWayLady's badges

NoWayLady's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2488)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45668) - you deserved it (1903)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53216) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36771) - you deserved it (4461)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (5306)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (17167)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80476) - you deserved it (11876)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (6532)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (218438)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

#17682906
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (6231)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jag talar (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (2974)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (5431)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47736) - you deserved it (4469)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: