About NoWayLady : I read FML when I'm blue, red and in between, which would make me purple if you think about it.
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NoWayLady's favorite FMLs
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Hair Fail / 10/22/2011 at 11:32am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML
by ItaliczZz / 10/12/2011 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:04am / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 10:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very…