About NoWayLady : I read FML when I'm blue, red and in between, which would make me purple if you think about it.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (2818)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36004) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12308) - you deserved it (28089)
On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (4150)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (4152)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28754) - you deserved it (4076)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (5782)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34747) - you deserved it (2808)
On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States
Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26272) - you deserved it (3210)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50110) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (3782)
On 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9266) - you deserved it (42494)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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