About NoWayLady : I read FML when I'm blue, red and in between, which would make me purple if you think about it.
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NoWayLady's favorite FMLs
Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
by EyesOffMe / 09/07/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
by WTF / 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
by Pop_Pies / 09/03/2009 at 9:27am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
by Karen / 08/31/2009 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
by Phoellie / 08/28/2009 at 7:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Holidays
by helenablitz / 08/28/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by embarassed_chick / 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
by probably_the_ex_now / 08/18/2009 at 4:04am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML
by deflated / 08/09/2009 at 12:54pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by daddysboy123 / 08/06/2009 at 11:40am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
by whatismydadthinking / 08/06/2009 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love