About NoWayLady : I read FML when I'm blue, red and in between, which would make me purple if you think about it.
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NoWayLady's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML
by Tattooed_Blonde / 01/20/2010 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by todayJman03 / 12/22/2009 at 8:03am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
by justine / 12/13/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health
by usmcgirl / 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 1:27am / United States (Montana) / Intimacy
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
by Shobz / 10/26/2009 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
by LOLCATS / 10/13/2009 at 9:45am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Intimacy
by Painful / 10/05/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by ugh / 09/23/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML
by Notyourstepmom / 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what… Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page… Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about…