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NoDontKillMe

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NoDontKillMe

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1885
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About NoDontKillMe : *・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*

NoDontKillMe's page activity

Visits<b>morlogg</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:37am<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:50am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:56am<b>tripwire234</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:56am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:44pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:51pm<b>weedluver</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 6:04am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:35pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:31am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>J355E</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:25am<b>MOLLMcAWESOME</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:17pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:08am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 1:36am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 8:23am<b>AlyssaSoccer</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 5:16pm<b>gdduncan</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 6:49am

Liked!<b>morlogg</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 8:37am

NoDontKillMe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of NoDontKillMe's badges

NoDontKillMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63370) - you deserved it (14430)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

#20686906
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53114) - you deserved it (2844)

On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49234) - you deserved it (8938)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42475) - you deserved it (21105)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40862) - you deserved it (6936)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (13721)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (11327)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (39823)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58756) - you deserved it (4496)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51354) - you deserved it (3844)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67328) - you deserved it (9924)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

#20638884
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43092) - you deserved it (3318)

On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53208) - you deserved it (4129)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (69226)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)



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