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NoDontKillMe

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NoDontKillMe

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1616
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About NoDontKillMe : *・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*

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Visits<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:50am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:56am<b>tripwire234</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:56am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:44pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:51pm<b>weedluver</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 6:04am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:35pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:31am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>J355E</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:25am<b>MOLLMcAWESOME</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:17pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:08am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 1:36am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 8:23am<b>AlyssaSoccer</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 5:16pm<b>gdduncan</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 6:49am<b>KhrystallDaBest</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 3:06am

NoDontKillMe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of NoDontKillMe's badges

NoDontKillMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

#20716126
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34697) - you deserved it (8406)

On 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45983) - you deserved it (4435)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47235) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52394) - you deserved it (2947)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45304) - you deserved it (7946)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56050) - you deserved it (6006)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53894) - you deserved it (13414)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (6986)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68080) - you deserved it (4153)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

#20700486
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46317) - you deserved it (14398)

On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57533) - you deserved it (4823)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (33372)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44468) - you deserved it (8454)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55611) - you deserved it (5687)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

#20691616
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you deserved it (5085)

On 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm - work - by funnygirl018 - United States



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