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NoDontKillMe

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NoDontKillMe

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1489
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About NoDontKillMe : *・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*

NoDontKillMe's page activity

Visits<b>MissEris</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:50am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:56am<b>tripwire234</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:56am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:44pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:51pm<b>weedluver</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 6:04am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:35pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:31am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>J355E</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:25am<b>MOLLMcAWESOME</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:17pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:08am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 1:36am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 8:23am<b>AlyssaSoccer</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 5:16pm<b>gdduncan</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 6:49am<b>KhrystallDaBest</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 3:06am

NoDontKillMe's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of NoDontKillMe's badges

NoDontKillMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (5433)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57864) - you deserved it (3511)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44076) - you deserved it (4380)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58577) - you deserved it (3812)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41203) - you deserved it (4602)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (2865)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (2724)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59155) - you deserved it (36979)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57969) - you deserved it (3964)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48886) - you deserved it (5513)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

#20717191
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45407) - you deserved it (4663)

On 06/10/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (7090)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States



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