About Nick_1993 : 19. Don't Nazi me. I won't care. Drummer, Biker, Gamer, Snowboarder, Lover. I'm Hot.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (27784)
On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States
Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8094) - you deserved it (58163)
On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (7733)
On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (3454)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17590) - you deserved it (31057)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -
Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (63466) - you deserved it (2811)
On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51247) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47662)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35530) - you deserved it (2586)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (25313)
On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)
Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (5807)
On 05/13/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by ctop (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (7005)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52445) - you deserved it (3651)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19674) - you deserved it (39436)
On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16114) - you deserved it (51314)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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