About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.
If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.
I'm also from Thailand and Norway.
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Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (1879)
On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17064) - you deserved it (2560)
On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (2015)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (2564)
On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16273) - you deserved it (2540)
On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States
Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (2984)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (38123)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (16226)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (4013)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23939) - you deserved it (3315)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (21593)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15355) - you deserved it (5416)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (20946)
On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (23865) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 20 May 2013
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