Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MysticAmmu

Online | Search for a member

MysticAmmu

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9434
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's page activity

Visits<b>Dccj456</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:19pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:32pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:41am<b>Ironic_Meme</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 9:53am<b>hung060694</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 2:16am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 10:07pm<b>poppunkette</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:44am<b>gunnerette</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:53pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 5:16pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:51am<b>zschul1118</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:16pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Posthuman</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:42pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:54pm<b>adrian1910</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Carnage23</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:42am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:41pm

Liked!<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:59am

MysticAmmu's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MysticAmmu's badges

MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

#21306100
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (2398)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:13am - money - by poor man - United States (Florida)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (3250)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (4322)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (2750)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (4266)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (2529)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38344) - you deserved it (4312)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (3755)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34427) - you deserved it (4023)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you deserved it (2601)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (7144)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (30645)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (3170)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

#21300403
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (1992)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:46pm - misc - by areyouserious (man) - United States (California)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: