Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MysticAmmu

Search for a member

MysticAmmu

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5268
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's page activity

Visits<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:06am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:27pm<b>SqueezeMe32</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:51am<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:37am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:02am<b>its_bree</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>byefelicia1992</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:32pm<b>rainbowdog</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:38pm<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:15pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 8:58am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 7:53pm<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Christakwon</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 9:12am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:13am<b>nelson_92</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 6:32am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:32am<b>dawsonstar</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 12:45pm

MysticAmmu's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MysticAmmu's badges

MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (6822)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46518) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50297) - you deserved it (10869)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48287) - you deserved it (5691)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

#21168914
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38287) - you deserved it (6362)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:46pm - misc - by Where is it coming from?! (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

#21168837
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44178) - you deserved it (8381)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61902) - you deserved it (5031)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (19876)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56167) - you deserved it (6779)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

#21165218
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (38850)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:01pm - health - by shartface12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47034) - you deserved it (5436)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (6152)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML

#21164912
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53384) - you deserved it (7851)

On 06/06/2014 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (16177)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (5682)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: