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MysticAmmu

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MysticAmmu
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3842
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

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MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (4756)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5617) - you deserved it (45231)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (14184)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11947) - you deserved it (43185)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (4348)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18506) - you deserved it (7008)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (10775)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32932) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

#18300773
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9214) - you deserved it (35174)

On 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by johnnydoe6969 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (23914)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49690)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30805) - you deserved it (5845)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28014) - you deserved it (9568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

#18146927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12415) - you deserved it (25504)

On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)



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