Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MysticAmmu

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

MysticAmmu

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13528
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's page activity

Visits<b>brkopplin</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:40pm<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:57am<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:33pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:18am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Ironic_Meme</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:27pm<b>je_suis_petit</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:09am<b>Kasparkilo05</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:38pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:55am<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:49pm<b>Colon_Man</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:52am<b>lola4455</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:54pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:08pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 2:28am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 8:26pm<b>Jessica00</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:35pm<b>8Dirty1</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:24am

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:19pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:32pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:59am

MysticAmmu's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MysticAmmu's badges

MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

#21352626
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47698) - you deserved it (3775)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

#21350975
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32513) - you deserved it (2101)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29951) - you deserved it (5125)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (14044)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (5542)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (4650)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33685) - you deserved it (2957)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14641) - you deserved it (38277)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34431) - you deserved it (2332)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (4180)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (2294)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: