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MysticAmmu

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MysticAmmu
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3848
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's last visitors

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MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50870) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20055) - you deserved it (9359)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13674) - you deserved it (38829)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (8035)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10239) - you deserved it (35022)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36780) - you deserved it (3392)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (2212)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (37901)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10382) - you deserved it (50681)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45090) - you deserved it (3119)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)



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