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MysticAmmu

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MysticAmmu

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8233
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's page activity

Visits<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 5:16pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:51am<b>zschul1118</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:16pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Posthuman</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:42pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:54pm<b>adrian1910</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Carnage23</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:42am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:41pm<b>jamespesche</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:33pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:35am<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:06am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:27pm<b>SqueezeMe32</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:51am<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:37am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:02am<b>its_bree</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 8:19am

Liked!<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:59am

MysticAmmu's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29999) - you deserved it (17517)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

#21308491
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40178) - you deserved it (2554)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

#21308445
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2974)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (5745)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38162) - you deserved it (4658)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32351) - you deserved it (3742)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

#21307515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31565) - you deserved it (6724)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm - work - by I'm so wet, baby - United Kingdom

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34837) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33783) - you deserved it (5336)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

#21306100
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (2392)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:13am - money - by poor man - United States (Florida)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32599) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30626) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (2595)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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