Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Murphy_21

Search for a member

Murphy_21

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24694
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]

Murphy_21's page activity

Visits<b>leelaloola</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:46pm<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:06am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:13am<b>Finni3466</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:37am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:58am<b>GarrettP28</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:42pm<b>shinn</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 2:26am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:54am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:50pm<b>karm26</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 5:00pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:25am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:27am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 10:24pm<b>Garrett2</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 1:08am

Murphy_21's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Murphy_21's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (79248)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (45505)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7977) - you deserved it (76935)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

#1744807
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52613) - you deserved it (12627)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

#1741701
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18169) - you deserved it (42447)

On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML

#1739978
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (36440)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

#1729820
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42792) - you deserved it (6468)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

#1716313
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (65490)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by ummPORQUE (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (96575)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (64516)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71262) - you deserved it (4631)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

#1690267
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14401) - you deserved it (77006)

On 05/06/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by ElamentalAngel - United Kingdom

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

#1688990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47310) - you deserved it (17136)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47am - health - by FortuneFaded (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was excited about my friend going wedding dress shopping. Before I went to go work out, I decided to try on a prom dress from high school to remember what it felt like to get dressed up. It was too tight, I broke the zipper, and spent 45 minutes trapped before I cut myself out. FML

#1688328
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18407) - you deserved it (37231)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:04am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (56323)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: