Murphy_21

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Murphy_21

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 29991
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]

Murphy_21's page activity

Visits<b>maggeei</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 12:22am<b>sloosh</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:37am<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:21am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:23pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 12:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:22am<b>SchelleForelle</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:55am<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:49pm<b>leelaloola</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:46pm<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:06am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:13am<b>Finni3466</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:37am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06am

Fucked!<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 7:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:23pm

Murphy_21's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Murphy_21's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

by Kens / 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

by Deconstructed / 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

by morningeyes / 05/19/2009 at 10:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

by notnerb / 05/19/2009 at 6:13am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2009 at 4:40am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2009 at 12:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML

by _dopey_ / 05/17/2009 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

by sonofmilf / 05/17/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

by blairheir721 / 05/17/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was driving home. It was late and I wanted to get home so I started speeding. I didn't wanna get a ticket so I slowed down everytime I saw a car that could be a cop, judging by headlights. There was a car with a busted headlight so I sped up. Couldn't be a cop car. It could. $216 proof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy