About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had sex for the first time with the guy I've been seeing about a month. When we finished, all he wanted to do was kiss and cuddle, and all I could think about was how soon he would leave so I could cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57608) - you deserved it (21001)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:38am - intimacy - by ouch (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14021) - you deserved it (53961)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (51221)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13905) - you deserved it (44694)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (16759)
On 05/20/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (75125)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (3263)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by Deconstructed (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12930) - you deserved it (78806)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55457) - you deserved it (6135)
On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10173) - you deserved it (40142)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15233) - you deserved it (37176)
On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (106468)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10177) - you deserved it (74869)
On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51423) - you deserved it (927)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by _dopey_ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139611) - you deserved it (32558)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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