Murphy_21

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Murphy_21

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28411
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]

Murphy_21's page activity

Visits<b>sloosh</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:37am<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:21am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:23pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 12:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:22am<b>SchelleForelle</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:55am<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:49pm<b>leelaloola</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:46pm<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:06am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:13am<b>Finni3466</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:37am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:58am

Fucked!<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 7:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:23pm

Murphy_21's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Murphy_21's favorite FMLs

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

by waterproblem / 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

by arctic1 / 05/27/2009 at 5:45am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

by Arrgh / 05/27/2009 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

by Sigh / 05/23/2009 at 1:50am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

by erin3809483 / 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 4:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

by fmlcops / 05/22/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

by liz / 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

by tomandjerry / 05/21/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 2:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation