Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Murphy_21

Search for a member

Murphy_21

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24319
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]

Murphy_21's page activity

Visits<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:13am<b>Finni3466</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:37am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:58am<b>GarrettP28</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:42pm<b>shinn</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 2:26am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:54am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:50pm<b>karm26</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 5:00pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:25am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:27am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 10:24pm<b>Garrett2</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 1:08am<b>ggmarie</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 10:26pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 5:33am<b>robsmith12</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:06am

Murphy_21's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Murphy_21's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

#2363233
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63047) - you deserved it (2472)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16530) - you deserved it (68263)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you deserved it (62625)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (72947)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (139884)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (31861)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83242) - you deserved it (10197)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

#2173533
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60953) - you deserved it (3250)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

#2168919
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60124) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10400) - you deserved it (46467)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16884) - you deserved it (59821)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16797) - you deserved it (57817)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: