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Murphy_21

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Murphy_21
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 23418
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]

Murphy_21's last visitors

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Murphy_21's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

#2373285
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33862) - you deserved it (22305)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

#2363233
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59653) - you deserved it (2245)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (65109)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16860) - you deserved it (61425)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7173) - you deserved it (70053)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13680) - you deserved it (110343)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33952) - you deserved it (29974)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80051) - you deserved it (9814)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

#2173533
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59259) - you deserved it (3093)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

#2168919
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55433) - you deserved it (4363)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (35034)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15224) - you deserved it (56397)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)



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