Murphy_21

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Murphy_21

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30012
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]

Murphy_21's page activity

Visits<b>maggeei</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 12:22am<b>sloosh</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:37am<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:21am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:23pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 12:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:22am<b>SchelleForelle</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:55am<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:49pm<b>leelaloola</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:46pm<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:06am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:13am<b>Finni3466</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:37am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06am

Fucked!<b>dmo4</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 7:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:23pm

Murphy_21's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Murphy_21's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

by shescomfortablynumb / 06/05/2009 at 3:49am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

by anon / 06/04/2009 at 7:35am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 7:11am / United States / Love

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

by Kyokushin / 06/03/2009 at 10:15am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

by sierraisfucked / 06/02/2009 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

by xacked / 06/02/2009 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

by fmeplease / 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

by lfssecond / 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2009 at 10:19am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

by ilikecake / 05/29/2009 at 7:12am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Oregon) / Health