Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Murphy_21

Search for a member

Murphy_21

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24896
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Murphy_21 : My life is a giant fail... but not as bad as some of these guys. =]

Murphy_21's page activity

Visits<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:49pm<b>leelaloola</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:46pm<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:06am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:13am<b>Finni3466</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>curticus</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:37am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:58am<b>GarrettP28</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:42pm<b>shinn</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 2:26am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:54am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:50pm<b>karm26</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 5:00pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 6:25am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:27am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 10:24pm

Murphy_21's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Murphy_21's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94800) - you deserved it (20005)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML

#2765186
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33246) - you deserved it (12555)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:13am - animals - by Trapped (woman) - Australia

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81168) - you deserved it (6114)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

#2745458
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (6392)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:39pm - work - by IronMonkey (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108549) - you deserved it (4850)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78532) - you deserved it (5102)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70147) - you deserved it (8424)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84007) - you deserved it (20435)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66408) - you deserved it (6342)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12867) - you deserved it (72944)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70634) - you deserved it (4838)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: