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MrsWojtowicz

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MrsWojtowicz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1052
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About MrsWojtowicz : I'm married, have a toddler, and baby on the way. My life is hectic, boring, and simple. :)

MrsWojtowicz's page activity

Visits<b>theat</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:34am<b>thompson45acp</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:41am<b>rhcpatt</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 12:57pm<b>delwoodfrashure</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 5:47pm<b>coleiab125</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 9:55pm<b>liloso60</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:03pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:08pm<b>bps315</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 7:00pm<b>deedoubles</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 4:36pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 11:31am<b>jasper90s</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 6:29am<b>MangaManiacNat</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 10:05am<b>tony77</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 12:46am<b>whirlednews</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 12:11pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 12:04pm<b>LardZilla</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 3:39am<b>deathbatchickk</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 1:37am

MrsWojtowicz's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of MrsWojtowicz's badges

MrsWojtowicz's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (27324)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

#19198099
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (1528)

On 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm - work - by craigtm029429 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML

#19196656
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (4261)

On 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm - misc - by Rachel - United States

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9818) - you deserved it (31820)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27790) - you deserved it (2168)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35005) - you deserved it (5312)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (2807)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (4983)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (4627)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (2462)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32086) - you deserved it (6166)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (2106)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36465) - you deserved it (4235)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25801) - you deserved it (5015)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)



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