About Mrswojtowicz
I'm married, have a toddler, and baby on the way. My life is hectic, boring, and simple. :)
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Mrswojtowicz's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
    0%
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    3%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    12%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    23%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    69%
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    28%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    49%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    26%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
    0%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Mrswojtowicz's favorite FMLs

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

By radiating - / Friday 9 March 2012 04:53 /

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

By gabbykinz13 / Thursday 8 March 2012 21:48 / United States

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

By Alfie4 - / Monday 5 March 2012 22:30 / United Kingdom

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

By sdk2010 - / Tuesday 6 March 2012 17:05 / Canada

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

By Kayla / Tuesday 6 March 2012 00:43 / United States