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MrsWojtowicz

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MrsWojtowicz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1084
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About MrsWojtowicz : I'm married, have a toddler, and baby on the way. My life is hectic, boring, and simple. :)

MrsWojtowicz's page activity

Visits<b>theat</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:34am<b>thompson45acp</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 1:41am<b>rhcpatt</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 12:57pm<b>delwoodfrashure</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 5:47pm<b>coleiab125</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 9:55pm<b>liloso60</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:03pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:08pm<b>bps315</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 7:00pm<b>deedoubles</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 4:36pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 11:31am<b>jasper90s</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 6:29am<b>MangaManiacNat</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 10:05am<b>tony77</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 12:46am<b>whirlednews</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 12:11pm<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 12:04pm<b>LardZilla</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 3:39am<b>deathbatchickk</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 1:37am

MrsWojtowicz's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of MrsWojtowicz's badges

MrsWojtowicz's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (5647)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45865) - you deserved it (7268)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45865) - you deserved it (7268)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (3315)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (2792)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19747) - you deserved it (36424)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (4320)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50063) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48961) - you deserved it (10221)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41719) - you deserved it (8166)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (12841)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)



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